


it's always been you

by smile5everr



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), wedding au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-23 21:26:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20228743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile5everr/pseuds/smile5everr
Summary: 7 years after their breakup, Jaemin receives a wedding invitation and mysterious flowers delivered to him every day.





	it's always been you

**Author's Note:**

> there is a prologue which i have posted on my aff and i have not included it here. this is for jaemin's birthday and i wanted to have something for him even though i cannot write. happy jaemin day!

“Hey come look at this,” Chenle said, handing him a white envelope that was in a pile of letters. It was a wedding invitation, something that they were both surprised to see.

“Who’s wedding?” Jaemin asked, staring at it before slowly opening it up. His heart stopped right when he saw Jeno’s and Renjun’s name on the very top. He should have known. Jeno had invited him to his own wedding after years of not facing or seeing each other. What a surprise. “Oh.”

Chenle just looked at him before turning down to scan the invitation beside him. “Jeno is getting married,” his said, stating the obvious. “Are you going?”

Jaemin shrugged, slightly lost in his own thoughts. Was it worth it to go? Was he ready to face Jeno again after all these years? “I don't think so. I don't find a reason to.”

Chenle just sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You and Jeno ended a long time ago. It's time for you to get over it. It’s something you really need to do instead of holding onto the past.”

“I am over it. It’s just I don't get why he would want to invite me. He was the one that broke up with me.”

“It won’t be that bad, trust me. I mean you both are living a good life and seeing him means that you're okay with him getting married. It would mean that you're okay and got over whatever you and him had in the past. It would mean that you both have moved on with your lives.”

Jaemin just nodded at him, understanding his reasoning on why he should go. Jeno was getting married and it wouldn't hurt to just see the guy happy right? It wasn't like him going would ever change anything right? He looked down at the invitation again. Jeno’s and Renjun’s name looked so perfect next to each other and nothing else could ever compare. “They both belong together. I'm really happy for them.”

It's been about 7 years since Jaemin last saw Jeno. He had learned to start a new life without him. It wasn't easy, but he had to learn to understand himself and the things around him. Instead of depending on other people for happiness, he depended on himself to bring the better outcome of everything. Loving Jeno was the past and so was his heart break. Sometimes, you just gotta learn from the past and grown up, not letting it hold you back. 

Just as Jaemin left the room, he didn't catch Chenle’s bitter smile. 

Just as Jaemin was walking to his car to go home from work, he was suddenly stopped by Haechan, his co-worker and best friends. They’ve known each other since high school, going through thick and thin.

“Hey do you need something?” He asked, looking at his best friend. Usually Haechan would only bother him when he needed something to be done and it was always that. 

Haechan smiled at him. “Someone left something for you in my office. I guess that person didn't know what office number yours was.”

“Someone left something for me?” He asked, incredulous. No one had ever left him anything since he and Haechan started working here which was 2 years ago. 

Haechan walked him to his office and his eyes widened when he found 3 bouquet of flowers on Haechan’s desk. “It even says to Na Jaemin but there isn't a name on who sent it.”

Jaemin was confused. Who would leave him flowers? It seemed odd. He gently pressed his thumb to one of the red roses and noticed that it wasn't soft as he expected. “This one is fake.”

“I will never stop loving you until all the roses die,” Haechan read the letter that was stuck on the vase. “I will love you for an eternity.” Haechan closed up the letter and looked at him with a smile on his face. “There’s a fake rose and it never dies so it means that this person must really be in love with you.”

Jaemin felt something prickling at his heart. He didn't understand who would leave him these, but he felt touched by the little simple letter, his heart warming up with so many emotions. “But why?”

Haechan shrugged. “Maybe they’re someone you know. Just think about it.” They both carried the bouquet of flowers to his office.

“I think I will just leave these here until I find a better place to put them. I really couldn't afford to bring it back home. You know Chenle’s allergic to them.”

Haechan just nodded at him. “Good idea. But once these all die, remember to throw them out. You don't want your office filled with dead flowers because it will stink. You don't want that to happen.” Haechan went back to his office, leaving Jaemin to look at the beautiful flowers. He smiled as he sniffed them, but he couldn't help but wonder who brought all of these for him. He currently was single at the moment so he wasn't seeing anyone, but the feeling of receiving flowers really warmed his heart. He just sighed as he locked up his office and made his way to his car. 

It had happened again the next day and the next day after. All of it was delivered to Haechan’s office at first but then got moved to his office when Haechan asked them to. Pretty much all of the employees knew that the bouquet of flowers was for Jaemin and teased him for it, asking if he had a boyfriend or if he was seeing someone. He told them that he doesn't even know who was sending him the flowers. He really had no clue on who it could be and as he tried thinking harder, it drove him kinda crazy. As days went by, Jaemin’s office became a forest of flowers and it was difficult to really have a meeting in there with anyone. He also had a hard time trying to focus on his work when all he could smell was the flowers, the scent making him feel like he was falling in love again. 

“Jaemin! Doyoung wants you in- Whoa!”

Jaemin looked up from his computer screen to see Ten walk in. Ten was Doyoung’s secretary, who’s a couple years older than he was, but the guy was a total baby in an adult body. 

“It's really a forest in here huh?”

Jaemin could only just smile. “I really don't know who these are from and it’d be heartless to throw them all away.”

Ten just shook his head. “Have you asked around? Like the front office lady who actually takes the bouquets from the people? Maybe she knows something.”

Jaemin just sighed, leaning back into his chair. He did ask her a few days ago but the lady said that it was delivered by a girl named Yujin and he didn't know who she was or ever heard of that name in his life. She mentioned that the girl wasn't the sender, but she was just the deliverer for the person who had brought him all the flowers. 

“Did Doyoung want something?”

“Yeah. He’s in the meeting room looking over some files.”

Jaemin got up. “Okay.”

Doyoung is the CEO of NCT Works, a low-key publishing company that publishes magazines and articles. They're not that big or known around Seoul. It's a small company that Doyoung was able to put together after help from his father, who is the CEO of one of the most popular corporations.

To be honest, Jaemin is one of the closest friend Doyoung has in the company. Most of the employees hates Doyoung because of his bossy personality, loud voice and the fact that he acts like he’s better than everyone. The guy just had a personality that most people don't like, but Jaemin didn't mind. Over the course of the two years, getting to know Doyoung and becoming one of the best workers (which helped him get promoted), he got used to his personality and habits which made him understand Doyoung as a person. Doyoung wasn't a bad guy in any means, the guy has a really good heart. 

Jaemin walked into the room to see Doyoung looking over some big files on the front desk. He smiled when he saw Jaemin walk in, turning around to hand him some files. 

“Jaemin, I know you're busy with so much editing to do, but I need you to look over these applications. As you know, we’re hiring some new interns so we need you to check these people to see if they make the cut. The rest of these stacks are for Taemin to organize.”

“Wait how many people applied? These are a lot.” Jaemin’s eyes grew wide at the amount of applicants they received.

“We need new young people to work and besides, it would be good for us. Most of them are fresh out of college.” 

Jaemin just nodded. “Oh by the way, did Taemin finish up the article? I need to edit it before Friday.” 

“He should be done, but if not, I’ll tell him to send you the document when he is.”

“Thanks.”

When he got back to the office, he sat down and placed the files next to his computer before he started to continue looking through his edits but he noticed that there was something on his desk next to the flowers. It was the first time that he had ever seen it. “What is this?” He reached for it and it turned out to be a black rectangle shaped earring. Now that was odd. “I don't even wear earrings…” He looked around his office to see if there were other things, but it seemed to be only the pair of earrings. 

“That’s weird.”

He quickly went to go check with Ten since he was the only person he knows that has his ears pierced. “You left these in my office right?”

Ten frowned as he looked down at the earrings in his palms. “Why would I leave my earrings in your office? And besides, those look so old. I don't wear old ones.”

Jaemin opened his mouth. “Then why were these on my desk?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you know whose these could be?”

Ten just stared at the earrings. “I don't know.”

Jaemin frowned as he walked out. He went back to his office and sat down, putting the earrings in a small box under his desk, not thinking about it much. 

He went through the files of the interviews and when he came across a familiar name, he stopped. Wait. He reread the name again to make sure that his eyes wasn't playing him.

Jeno’s younger sister was applying for this company? He hasn't seen her in forever and wondered what she would look like, but he wondered why she was applying here. Just seeing her again would bring so much memories back. He didn't want to think about it. 

He read through her application and bit his lips. She had all the qualities, finished up college last month and is looking for a place to intern. “Jiheon Lee.”

When he got home, Chenle was still out and he didn't know where he went. He opened the door to his apartment and took a quick shower. 

Chenle had made it home at around 9 but was too busy grading papers in the kitchen. Chenle is a middle school teacher and he spends too much time in school during the week, going out on those middle dances and school events, being the good outgoing teacher he is. 

“I’m gonna make some pasta for us,” Jaemin said, getting ready to make some pasta. Pasta was Chenle’s favorite American food.

“How was work today?” Chenle asked, looking up. 

Jaemin just shrugged. “It was alright. I still get flowers every day by the same person.”

“You still don't know who it could be?”

Jaemin sighed. “I'm at a lost. I wished I knew.” 

Chenle went back to grading papers as Jaemin continued cooking. 

When he was done, he took out two plates and poured out the pasta. Chenle put his papers away and across from him. 

“The wedding is in 3 weeks.”

Jaemin just nodded, licking his lips. He hadn't forgot about it and didn’t know if he should really go. “Yeah. I know.”

“Are you nervous about it?”

Jaemin looked up at his friend. Yes, he was extremely nervous and no words could describe how he felt. God, seeing your ex at his big wedding was probably the worst thing that could happen, the worst thing anyone could do. “You have no idea.”

“You don't have to go you know. It's your decision.”

Jaemin hummed, turning back to his food. “I'm still thinking about it.”

Once he was done eating, he walked into his room and sat in his bed. Jeno’s wedding was on his mind again. He can remember those times when he was so deeply in love with Jeno and he would do anything to keep them together. But life just doesn't go your way. 

Jeno had gotten tired of him and moved on. He fell in love with someone else and gave his heart to someone that wasn’t him. They had been through alot together, being best friends and falling in love, getting into fights and arguments, and then falling out of love with each other. It was one of those things that eventually had to happen. Jaemin knew from the bottom of his heart that they were never meant to be because they were too different. They just didn't belong together, they weren't compatible. Jaemin closed his eyes as he laid down. 

“I'm sorry that I could never give you the love that you deserved.”

Jaemin got up and looked at the time. It was 10 PM. Maybe he could watch some movies before he goes to sleep. 

Flashback

“Why do you think I’m cheating on you?” Jeno asked. “You make no sense.”

Jaemin just stared at his boyfriend before rolling his eyes. “I didn’t say you were cheating, but you never want to hang out with me. I’m cool with that, but what’s the real reason why you won’t look at me in the eye anymore? All you do is go out with Renjun all the time.”

“What is it to you? You do that with Chenle all the time.”

Jaemin frowned at him, crossing his arms. “What? At least I don’t freaking sleep over at his house and go on secret dates all the time. What’s the truth Jeno?”

Jeno faced him, looking at him in the eye. They have been together for years, but Jaemin couldn’t help but feel the pain every time they look into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t the first time. “Think whatever you want Jaemin. I don’t really care.”

Jaemin can feel his heart breaking again. Why doesn’t Jeno ever think of him anymore? Why does he have to keep trying so hard? It just wasn’t fair. “You never care anymore. You haven’t cared ever since Renjun came around. He’s all you think about.”

“But he has never meant more to me than you.”

Jaemin shook his head, not believing a single word. “But I don’t even mean anything you anymore.”

They just stared at each other for the longest time. This was their breaking point and they both knew it, but none of them could really voice it out. 

“I don’t think I will ever mean anything to you anymore,” Jaemin finally said. “And that is why we’re like this.” 

“Then let’s just stop trying.” 

Jaemin watched him leave the apartment and close the door. He didn’t know how and when it started, but he suddenly just didn’t want to deal with him anymore. It was already bad enough that he was cheating on him and he just didn’t want to try. He didn’t want to be holding him back from loving someone else. They were once everything to each other, but now they were nothing. Jaemin didn’t love him like he used to and there was no way that he was willing to keep loving him like this. 

Jaemin couldn't focus during work. There was something that was bothering him, but he didn't know what it was. He looked up at the roses. He suddenly got up and sniffed them. “Something smells like cologne…” And it wasn't him because he doesn't wear strong cologne. The smell was oddly familiar but he doesn't recognize where it came from and it really bothered him. 

Jaemin frowned before reaching into his drawer for the pair of earrings. He looked at it closely, almost studying it. It had some scratches. “This is getting really weird.” He felt that something was really off. Could the earring belong to the sender? Why did he leave it here? Why does the flowers smell like cologne? 

When it was 5pm, Jaemin went down to the lobby to see the lady in front. “Sunhye, did the bouquets arrive yet?”

She bowed to him. “Hello Mr. Na. The bouquets is being delivered in some time from now.”

Jaemin decided to stay until he receives the flowers because he wanted to see who sent it in. A little half past 5, two girls walked in with 3 sets of gorgeous flowers and roses. Jaemin recognized one of the girls and his eyes widened. 

“Hina!” It was really Hina. 

The small girl saw him and hurriedly ran out the building before she could even set the flowers down, but Jaemin knew he couldn't lose her. He ran outside to see her getting into the van, but he grabbed onto her arm, making her drop everything she was holding. The vast shattered and flowers were everywhere. But it was the least of his worries when he just had so many questions. 

“Hina, please talk to me!”

“Jaemin, let me go!”

“Shit, I should have known it was you! Hina just please tell me who has been sending those flowers.”

“I can't tell you! I promised to keep my mouth shut.” 

“Please. I would do anything. Please.”

“I can’t Jaemin.” Hani yanked her hand away and went into the car and closed it. Jaemin sighed as he watched her go. He couldn’t believe it was her. He quickly went back inside to see if the other girl was there, but she was nowhere to be seen. He let out a frustrated sigh. This couldn't be happening. Why did it have to be Hina? 

He had to find out who Hina is working for and why she was the one delivering the flowers. “Where did the girl go?” He asked, looking around. 

“She left when you suddenly chased that lady out the door.”

“So you don’t know where she went?”

“No Sir.”

He went up to his office. All the flowers were already there since the ladies decided to deliver it to by name instead of room number. He quickly snatched up the letter to read it. It was blank for the first time. Jaemin frowned as he looked around the flowers. There was something else stuck on top of the fake rose, taped down. It was a ring. Jaemin picked it up and observed it. There was a letter O carved on the outer rim. Jaemin frowned. 

“O?”

Jaemin closed his eyes for a moment. He tried to think of anyone whose name started with an O. He couldn't think of one. “Could be a last name initial?”

The only person he could think of was Oh Sehun, who was almost 6 years older than he was, but there was no way it could be Sehun. Sehun was already married. Could it be a girl? He never had much interactions with girls because he wasn’t interested in them. Maybe it wasn’t a last name initial. 

Jaemin heard a knock on his door. It was just Haechan. “Hey, just came to check on you.”

Jaemin looked over at him. “Hey.”

“I see he’s still sending you them.”

Jaemin paused and looked at him, raising his brows. “He?”

Haechan suddenly bit his lips and Jaemin walked over to him. “How do you know it’s a he?”

“I don't! I'm just guessing.”

Jaemin stared at him. “You could be right because there is cologne smell everywhere. I never noticed it before, but it seemed to have gotten stronger.”

“So must be a guy.”

Jaemin just nodded. “Yeah but the weird thing is that it smells so familiar but I can't put my finger on it. I swear I smelled it before.”

“Don’t think to hard about it.”

Jaemin sighed. “Do you remember Hina?”

Haechan nodded, sitting in the chair from across from him. “The girl who was on the cheerleading squad back in high school? Yeah what about her?”

“She’s the one delivering the flowers.”

“Oh.” 

“I need to look for her. I’m going to check her background and see who she’s working for.”

Haechan shook his head. “Don’t. She probably doesn't have much to do with the person sending you the flowers.”

“But she knows who is sending the flowers.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“I ran after her, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. It was like she was forced to keep her mouth shut.”

“This is getting freaky.”

“Tell me about it. And look,” Jaemin showed him the small ring with the curved letter. “The letter O. I mean why would he put the letter O?”

Haechan just stared at it. “Well, this is for you to figure out because I'm at a lost. Sorry bro.” Haechan patted his back before leaving. 

As Jaemin was leaving work, he decided to buy some take out for both him and Chenle. There was a place that a co-worker of his had recommended that he should go to, but it was a bit far. He decided to just go there. When he got there, the place was small but cozy. 

“Hi how can help you today?”

Jaemin looked at the man in front of him.“Uh do you have any recommendations?”

“Of course. Jajangmyeon is our top.”

Jaemin smiled at him as he order 2 bowls of it. As he waited for it, he looked across the street and noticed something. There was a restaurant and Jaemin recognized it being the same one from 7 years ago. When he and Jeno broke up. 

Jaemin got his food when it was finished and walked across the street. He noticed that it had been renamed. He didn't know if he wanted to go inside, but in the end, he did.

“Jaemin?”

Jaemin looked around to see a waiter calling out his name. “Jisung?”

“Hey! What are you doing here?” 

Jaemin just smiled at him. There weren't any customers around from what Jaemin can see since it was closing time. “I wanted to check this place out. I didn't know you worked here.” Jaemin hasn't seen Jisung ever since he had graduated high school which seemed like a lifetime ago.

They both sat down on one of the smaller tables. “How are you doing?” Jisung has grown up a lot and seemed to have matured through the years. 

“I’m doing good. I'm working at NCT Works with Haechan.”

“Oh that's such a good company!” 

“It is. So how long have you been working here?”

“I think around a year now. I just graduated college but I still don't know I want to do.”

Jaemin just nodded at him, understanding him. Almost everyone goes through that situation in their life. Jisung suddenly grabbed his hands. “I have to show you something.” Jisung brought him to the cashier table and looked around until he found what he was looking for. Jaemin saw that it was a frame with 2 rings. 

“Do you recognize them?”

Jaemin just nodded, a feeling of nostalgia running in his head. “They were our promise rings from a long time ago.”

“It somehow ended up here in this restaurant.”

Jaemin bit his lips. “We actually broke up here a long time ago. I'm quite surprised that it’s still here.”

Jisung looked up at him. “We all know you guys really loved each other but it's good that you guys are happy living your own life.”

Jaemin just smiled. “Yeah.”

“Irene was the one who framed these. You can ask her about it. She’s the boss.”

Jaemin remembered that name. “She is?”

Jisung nodded at him just as a young lady walked out the back room. Jaemin recognized her as the lady who witnessed his and Jeno’s breakup. He slowly smiled at her. 

“Hi.”

“Hello. I see that you have found those rings.”

Jaemin can only nod. “Yeah. Uh it’s cool that you had decided to frame these. I don't understand why you would.”

She just walked over to him and looked at the ring. “I framed them because I just know you and him will eventually find your way back together. When I saw you guys together, I just knew that some things will always have a good ending.”

Jaemin nodded. “I see, but he was just the past you know. The only good ending is seeing each other happy.”

Irene looked at him, but didn't say anything. 

“These were just rings, they were nothing but just something placed on your fingers. It didn't mean that you guys will sacrifice a life together just because you guys promised it with a just a ring. Nothing is forever and a promise ring was just the representation of something that could be, but wasn't.”

“But these rings meant that you guys had once wanted to be together forever.”

Jaemin shook his head. “We did once. But we didn't stay together.”

Jisung put his hands on his shoulder, squeezing it a little. “I heard he’s getting married.”

“Yeah. He is. How did you find out?”

”I’m still friends with Jeno you know.”

Jaemin nodded. He had forgotten that Jisung and Jeno were super close back in the days. “Yeah.”

“They’re cute. Renjun and Jeno.” Jisung smiled. “When Jeno was dating you, I thought that he was your everything. You guys went through so much together, becoming best friends, developing feelings for each other and falling in love. I never would have thought Jeno was cheating behind your back when we all knew that you were the only person he loved the most.”

“Feelings come and go Jisung,” Jaemin said. He looked down at his watch and realized he had to go and get some editing done. “I have to go home now, but it’s nice seeing you again Jisung. And you too Irene.”

They both smiled at him before he left. 

When he returned home, he saw Chenle sleeping on the couch. He smiled before putting the food down and going inside his room to change into something comfy to wear. Just as he came out, he saw Chenle waking up. Jaemin took a moment to realize that Chenle’s eyes were puffy and red. His heart immediately knew that something was wrong. Chenle was a strong person and he never revealed much of his feelings, always keeping it hidden from everyone he knew. It drove Jaemin crazy sometimes, but there are just things that a person wants to hide. 

“Chenle, did something happen?”

Chenle sat up and motioned for him to sit down. Jaemin did what he was told. “Renjun called me.”

“He called you?” Jaemin asked, blinking. 

“It was a mess. I was a mess figuratively speaking. Renjun told me something.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he was sorry for not being a better person, for running away when he felt the same. He told me that he regretted hurting me and going after Jeno when he knew that he had different kind of motive.”

Jaemin just sat there as he listened to what Chenle said. Renjun was Chenle’s former lover who had dropped him when he chased after Jeno, the boy of his dreams. Renjun broke Chenle’s heart, deciding to leave him for Jeno, who had ultimately felt the same. They all hurt one another and Jaemin was the one that had to endure the pain of seeing everything turn into a mess. Chenle never talked about Renjun much but through the years, they had reconciled and became friends. It wasn't the same for him and Jeno. 

“Do you still love him?” Jaemin asked. 

Chenle just stayed quiet for a long time. “Maybe I do and maybe I don't. Either way, he’s getting married to Jeno.” 

Jaemin bit his lips. “How come you don’t say anything? I thought you were okay with them getting married. You didn’t even blink an eyelash when you saw that invitation.”

“Because I knew that no matter what, they’ll never look at us anymore. We were just their past, nothing more than that.”

It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair when they had to suffer the most when Renjun and Jeno were out there being happy together. Life was cruel and Jaemin hated it. 

The hiring process turned out to be a breeze. The interns were really nice and when Doyoung had assigned him his own intern, he was surprised to find out that it was Jeno’s little sister. Jaemin didn’t know how to feel about that and so many emotions flooded in him as he saw her face again. She was young and beautiful, just as he remembered her, but he had grown so much the last seven years. He gave his words about who should be hired to Doyoung and Doyoung took his words into consideration, looking through the files with his workers again. It wasn't until a few days that they finally called the interns back for their training and Jaemin was the one who was able to see all of them on their first day. 

When he met Jiheon again, she smiled at him, like she knew that he was going to he here. It took some time to really understand that she was his intern. The little sister of his first love. It was beyond crazy.

“It’s nice seeing you again Jaemin,” she said as they walked into his office. “You look really the same.”

Jaemin just sighed as he looked at her again. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“It's a good thing,” she said. 

Jaemin smiled at her for a moment. “So why did apply here? Did you know that I worked here?”

“I had connections, but I didn’t know that you worked here until Mr. Kim told me that I’d be your intern. I was happy because it was new to me and getting to work with you would be fun.” She then looked around the office. “I was thrilled to know that would be working with you for the first time. I know seeing me can remind you of Jeno and I’m really sorry for that. I had to take a risk because this could be my only chance in seeing you again.”

Jaemin raised his brows. “Why is that?”

“Because believe it or not, I never expected to see you here. No one told me you worked here, but now that I have been assigned to be an intern, I had to take it.”

“I'm surprised you applied here. I always expected you’d become a teacher or a doctor.”

“That was anaspiration actually. I have BA in Psychology, but I've wanted to work in business.”

Jaemin nodded at that. “Oh.” 

“Look, there’s something you need to know. I’m not here to say anything that would hurt my brother’s reputation, but when you guys broke up, I felt like apart of me was missing. I didn't have the courage to talk you again because you and Jeno broke up. The three of us somehow grew up together and you always took care of me, like I was your own little sister. You were kind and special and I didn’t want to see you ever leave my life. My brother loved you so much and I’m sorry that he couldn’t treat you right. Jeno sometimes talked about you from time to time, like he felt somewhat heartbroken when he would see pictures of you. I wanted to see you again so here I am. I guess I'm just lucky to have you in front of me.”

Jaemin didn’t know what to say to her. She was like a sister to him, someone he watched out for when they were younger. He never expected to see her again, let alone be his intern. “Jiheon.”

“Please just listen to me. I’m just his sister but I’m not him. I can’t say what he feels, but I know that Jeno still loves you.”

Jaemin was quiet. He didn’t know why Jiheon had to come and say this. “You don’t need to say any of this. Look, does he know that you're working here?”

“He doesn't.”

“Does he know that I work here?” Jaemin asked sternly.

Jiheon paused for a second. “I don't know.”

“Oh okay.”

They finally got to work and Jiheon had asked about the forest of flowers around his room. She said that it was pretty. 

“Someone has been sending me them for the past few weeks. I don't know who.”

Jiheon noticed the letter on his desk. “Can I read what it says?”

Jaemin nodded. She picked up the letter and after a moment, she seemed to pale. She suddenly looked away and put it down. They didn't talk about it anymore.

Haechan had asked him if he wants to grab dinner after work and Jaemin agreed. They haven't been hanging out much at all due to how busy they are. Jaemin had to edit articles for magazines while teaching Jiheon the basics, but she was a big help when he needed her to be. 

When Haechan found about Jiheon working as his intern, he was a bit shocked. He didn't expect her to come into the company that easily. Jiheon and Haechan made some short talks and she even remembered him as one of Jaemin’s old friends. 

“You haven't even grown that much,” she said. “It's nice to be seeing you guys again. It feels really nostalgic.”

“It does…” Haechan muttered as he looked at Jaemin. Jaemin just shrugged, putting his things away. 

“My boyfriend is already here so I have to go. Bye guys,” she said before taking her leave. 

Haechan walked over him and made a face. “Honestly, she is nothing like Jeno.”

“Tell me about it.”

They went out to get fast food because they bit needed that in their body after a stressful day. When they sat down on the table, Haechan was the first to talk, after drinking some coke. “Does Jeno know she's working here?”

Jaemin shrugged. “How am I supposed to know? They obviously don't live together and I'm not sure she even talks to Jeno that much. Back then, Jeno barely acknowledged her existence and I had to be the one that plays with her all the time.”

“They weren't close huh?”

Jaemin shrugged once again. “They could be but I wouldn't ask that. She's a lot different than Jeno and you could tell too, but I'm afraid I don't know her enough to tell if she and Jeno are still in contact.”

“You could ask her.”

Jaemin shook his head, taking a bite of his hamburger. “I’d rather not. I don't want to even think about Jeno right now. Like suddenly everything about him just popped up out of nowhere. You know the wedding invitation and now his sister. It's getting weird.”

“You're right,” Haechan hummed. “When is his wedding again?”

“In two weeks.”

“Are there any other weird things that happened?”

Jaemin stopped eating. “Not really. Just that one ring with the letter O carved into it.”

Haechan opened his mouth. ”Jaemin, do you know what they are? Those are hints. What other hints have you gotten?”

“The earrings. The black earrings.”

“Well if you ask me, I would think someone is telling something. What do you think it could be?”

“Hints to know who they are?”

“Yes! Who wears black earrings and has the letter O in their names? Who knows that you have a thing for red roses and who know that you work at NCT Works? They are clues. You just have to think.”

Jaemin slowly realized something, his blood running cold. “Haechan.”

“I know what you are thinking. I'm jumping to assumptions, but you know that it's true. You just have figure out who it could be.”

They both stared at each other and one name was on the top of Haechan’s lips. “Jeno.”

“Come on, Jeno got his ears pierced once he turned 18, he knows you love love those red roses, he has the letter O in his name, and you can't deny these facts.”

Jaemin sighed as he opened his door to his apartment. “But it's not right. He’s getting married to Renjun. He loves him and not me. You’re jumping to conclusions too fast. It doesn't make any sense.”

“Can you please just stop thinking about that?” Haechan asked, walking into Jaemin’s apartment. “Who else could match these clues but him?”

“What are you guys talking about?” Chenle asked, walking out of his room when he heard the commotion. 

Haechan looked over at Chenle. “I'm just saying that all these clues lead to Jeno.”

Chenle raised his brows, clearly confused. “Come again?”

Jaemin had forgotten that he hadn't told Chenle about his secret admirer. He internally groaned. He just didn’t want to worry Chenle too much about his concerns when Chenle already had enough on his shoulders. 

“Look Haechan, just please stop it. It just makes no sense that it could be him,” Jaemin grumbled, laying down on the couch. 

Chenle looked at him and then back at Haechan. “Why are you guys even talking about him?”

“You don’t know? Jaemin’s been receiving flowers from an anonymous person every day and that person left some hints for us to figure who he is. And I think it’s Jeno.”

“Hints? Wait why am I hearing about this just now?”

Jaemin looked up at him. “I didn't tell you because I knew that you were busy with teaching and school duties. This isn’t even that important.”

Chenle just rolled his eyes. “But it is! I’m confused. So why is it Jeno?”

“There are signs that it’s him. Everything points to him.”

Jaemin closed his eyes for a moment as Chenle sat down next to him. He didn't want to keep thinking about the Jeno or anything about him. Why did all the clues lead to him? Why would Jeno do this? It just didn't seem right and he had to get to the bottom of it. 

When Haechan left, Jaemin told Chenle everything that happened, the earring, the ring, seeing Hina, the weird cologne smell, and Jiheon being his intern. It was all so weird. 

“Damn this is scary,” Chenle muttered, pondering. “What do you think it could mean?”

“I don't think it really means anything. Maybe we're just getting too ahead of ourselves. If you think about it, maybe someone could be fooling with me.”

“You should ask Jiheon.”

Jaemin shook his head. “The thing is, I'm actually weary of her. I can't trust her because I know she could be siding with Jeno or something. When I first saw her, there was something weird. Like she knew that I worked at the Company. She told me she had connections, but NCT Works is a privately owned company, how could she have connections unless someone was able to get her inside for an interview.”

“Jaemin, look let's just think about something else. It’s probably not possible for it to be Jeno anyways.”

“You're right.”

FLASHBACK

Jaemin had spent all night reviewing for his exams when he heard Jeno saying that he was leaving to go to the bar with the guys. Jaemin’s ear perked up. When did Jeno go bars? 

“Oh wait, the bar?”

Jeno just nodded at him as he put on his jacket. “Yeah. Just stay home and study.”

Jaemin frowned at him from his laptop. “Since when you did go to bars? This is new.”

“I started going with Renjun a while back.”

Renjun. Oh it was always Renjun. He nodded slightly, sucking on his lips. Why was he not surprised? “How come you never told me about that?”

“You ever seem to care what I do anyways. You're always about school and getting good grades. When I ask you to go out, you refused and spend all your day in this room studying for upcoming exams. What am I supposed to do?”

Jaemin blinked at him, crossing his arms. “Okay, look I’m sorry about that, but it doesn't mean I don’t care what you do. In fact, I'm actually surprised about the bar thing. You never drink and you never party. What is up with the excuse of bringing Renjun up every time?”

“Look, let's talk later. I'm going to be late.” Jeno quickly left the room and Jaemin can hear the door closing. 

It wasn't until Jihoon, one of Jeno’s classmate, sent a picture of Jeno and Renjun dancing and making out together that Jaemin almost puked. 

“Oh god,” Jaemin whispered, getting up from his bed. “Just great.” He quickly sent the picture to Chenle, who was Renjun's boyfriend at that time. And then he sent it to Haechan. And then he went inside the bathroom to actually puke. 

Jeno didn't come until around half pass 2. Jaemin was still up and lost track of time after the little puking session because he just kept thinking about it too much. Probably everyone knew by now that Jeno just cheated on him and Jaemin didn't feel any better about it. Fuck, it hurt a lot.

“Whoa what are you still doing up?” Jeno asked, sitting next to him on the bed. Jaemin glared at him for a moment, wondering if he was still drunk. He could smell a bit of…

“Fuck, Jeno, get off my bed! You smell like shit.”

“Oh yeah okay.” Jeno got up and went to take a quick shower. And then this was where everything went downhill for them and Jaemin knew it too. 

Jaemin never really had any other relationships other than with Jeno. Jeno was his pretty much his first everything and it was hard to remind himself that he needed to find someone that wasn't like him. As he grew older, he learned that relationships were hard and precious and he didn't want to be in one one unless he was sure that the person wouldn't break his heart. He came to a realization that he couldn't ever be in one again. He was scared of being hurt again, he didn't want to be cheated on and be run over by them. It pained him the first time and that was why it was so hard for him to get into a relationship. He just couldn't be in one. 

He’s been on dates, but none of them turned into boyfriends. Some were flings and caught in the moment kind of things, but none were ever serious. He tried dates with the opposite sex and he liked it, but it just wasn't what he wanted. Everyone was different and nice, but getting into a relationship was hard. 

None of them made his heart beat, none of them caught his interest, and he went up for it. He became lazy of trying and hated going on dates. He hated kissing. He hated holding hands. He hated relationships. But he was always jealous of the people he would see on the streets, those couples who hold hands and kiss in public. His parents wanted him to get married early, but it's not like that will ever happen. He was a hopeless romantic.

Getting married seemed like centuries away. 

When he came to work that day, he saw there were already flowers on his desk with a note. He quickly snatched up the letter, getting a headache. 

“I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry for everything Jaemin.” 

Jaemin stared at the letter, his heart pumping in his chest so heart. “No.” Jaemin couldn't believe it as he slowly leaned down to smell it. It was that same cologne and Jaemin finally recognized it. It took him a while to remember but he just knew it. It was Jeno’s cologne. No wonder why it smelled so familiar after all this time. 

“Fuck. Just no way.” Jaemin panicked. What did this all mean? What was happening? He grabbed the letter and went to find Haechan in the coffee room. “Read it.”

Haechan raised his eyes at him before reading the letter. “Is it really Jeno?” He looked up. 

“I don't know! You tell me!”

“He gave you a half assed apology piece of crap after 7 years? I don't believe it.”

“But the question is, is it really him?”

“I don't know. You’ve known him longer.”

Jaemin shook his head. “It's not the same. The thing is, I actually have no idea anymore. I don’t even know him anymore.”

“Look, the wedding is coming up. It will be fine. We don't know if this is really him.”

“Whether we know or not, I don't think I care anymore,” Jaemin muttered, taking Haechan’s coffee before walking away, chugging it all down.

Jaemin barely got anything done before Jiheon arrived. 

“Hello Mr. Na,” she smiled as she settled into the office. 

“It sounds weird. Please don't call me that. Just call me Jaemin.”

They went through some work and when it was break time, Jiheon asked him if he wanted to grab lunch. 

“Uh I'm okay. I feel kinda tired right now.”

“Oh Jaemin are you okay?”

Jaemin nodded up at her. “Yeah.”

“I'm going to buy something for you to eat okay? You look really pale right now.” She placed her palm against his forehead. “Jaemin, you’re burning up.”

“I’m fine Jiheon. You don’t need to worry about me,” he said, brushing her hands off as he stood up from the table, but then suddenly he started to get dizzy. 

She grabbed onto him. “How can I not worry about you when you’re like this? Come on sit down.”

Jaemin sat back down as Jiheon quickly went out to get some water. When she returned, she saw Jaemin in the same position. She handed him the cup, watching him drink it. 

“Jaemin, how are you feeling?”

“I just felt a bit dizzy. It's okay. Please I'm really okay.”

Jiheon shook his head. “You don't seem like it. Look, I’ll run out really quick to get some food and I’ll be right back.” She quickly left and Jaemin took a deep breath, covering his face. He might feel a bit nauseous, with so much in his head. He went back to editing some articles again, but he had a big migraine and couldn’t see to focus. He walked to the couch in his office and laid down, resting his body for a just a moment. 

“Why are you laying down?” It was Haechan’s voice. 

“I have a migraine right now. Just let me rest.” 

“Stop overreacting.”

Jaemin glared at him before he closed his eyes. “But seriously, I don’t think I can even get up right now. I don’t even feel well at all. I think I’m going to puke again.”

Haechan looked at him, seeing the way Jaemin was sweating with his eyes closed. Maybe Jaemin did feel sick. “Maybe you should take the day off. You’ve been working non-stop all day.” 

“Yeah maybe I should.”

Jiheon came back with some kimbap from the nearest convenience store and saw them on the couch. “Jaemin, you should really go home if you feel unwell.”

Haechan pulled Jaemin up and Jaemin sighed, sitting up. Haechan turned to look at Jiheon. “Take him home today. I’ll tell Doyoung that he’s feeling unwell and he’ll understand.”

She nodded. “Okay.” She grabbed their stuff while Haechan helped Jaemin walk out and lock the office. When they walked out to the parking lot, Jiheon helped Jaemin get into her car, but Jaemin refused. 

“No it’s okay. I can drive home just fine.”

“Jaemin, you look really sick. The least I can do is drive you home after all the things you did for me. Think of it as a thank you.”

Haechan just pushed him into the front seat and thanked Jiheon. “Thank you Jiheon.” 

Jiheon smiled at Haechan before he left, getting into the front seat. She drove him home after asking for the address. When they got to his house, Jiheon helped him get inside and into his bed. “You’re not drunk, but you feel as if you are. My boyfriend gets drunk all the time, but he’s not as heavy as you are.” She smiled at him. 

“Thanks Jiheon.”

She nodded at him. “No problem. This is the best I can do right now for you. After everything you’ve been through.”

He looked at her through his eyelashes, blinking. Jiheon sometimes talked a lot, but at times he didn't mind. Unlike Jeno, she was the talkative one of the two. 

“It’s not your fault.”

She sadly smiled at him as he looked around the room. “You’re like a 2nd brother to me and I really like you. You’re different than any of Jeno’s friends or boyfriends, you gave him everything when he couldn’t do the same. You gave him happiness and warmth and you cared for him like nobody else. Jeno depended on you so much, you were like the wildflower in his life, a blessing. I don’t know how he could ever let you when you did so much for him. I hated him for letting you go. I’ve seen it all, I’ve seen you guys go through fights, I’ve seen him kiss other guys that wasn’t you, and I’ve seen him fall in love with other people.”

“Jiheon-” Jaemin can see her crying now and he really didn’t what to do. 

“You were there during his toughest times, you were there when he needed someone to turn to and confide in. I don’t think anyone could replace you.”

“Jiheon. It’s okay. It’s the past now.”

Jiheon wiped away her tears. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to cry but it was hard when you weren’t around. I missed you, but I also missed Jeno’s best friend. You grew up with us and you’re someone who is hard to forget.”

Jaemi just smiled at her, holding out his hands. Jiheon smiled as she took it into her palms. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here when you need me to.”

Jiheon looked down for a moment. “I also want to tell you something else. I don’t want to further your headache, but I did have a crush on you back then.”

Jaemin just laughed, shaking his head. “Oh I know. I think both Jeno and I knew.”

Jiheon slowly got up. “You should rest up Jaemin. I’ll go make something for you to drink when you get up.”

Jaemin nodded, closing his eyes as he slowly drifted off to sleep. 

Jaemin woke up, but he still had a major headache. He can hear something playing in the livingroom which meant hat Chenle was already home. He looked to his bedside table ad notice that there was a drink placed there. He sipped on it and can taste the refreshing tea mixed with honey water. It was what Jiheon’s mother always made them whenever they have fevers or fall sick. Drinking it made those memories come back and he shook his head before getting up, ruffling hair. 

“Hey you’re finally up,” Chenle said when he heard him walk out. “I made some soup for you since you must be hungry.”

“Thanks.”

“So what happened? Haechan told me you had weren’t feeling well so went home.”

Jaemin just nodded at him as he sat down next to him on the couch. “Nothing big really. I’ve just had a lot on my mind and started getting a migraine.”

“Oh. Does it have something to do with Jeno?”

Jaemin just shrugged, laying his lap. “More so. I mean I don’t really know what to even think about all of this. There seems to be only one reason why he’s doing all of this and it’s to apologize. It just seems like the best conclusion.”

Chenle just hummed. Jaemin closed his eyes. “But he doesn’t have to do any of this. He doesn’t have to spent money and send girls to deliver them to me because I already forgive him. I don’t hold a grudge for him for cheating on me or breaking my heart anymore. It’s been years and he finally had the courage to say he was sorry when he didn’t have to. I already forgive him and as before, we were just the past and everyone has to move forward.” 

“Maybe this is his way of telling you to come to the wedding.”

Jaemin got to work a little bit late the next day because he forgot to set his alarm. He made some coffee for himself in the coffee room and when he was done, he went back to work. Jiheon arrived soon after and gave him a small cupcake. 

“This is for you Jaemin. I remember you have a thing for sweets back in the days.”

He smiled at her. “I still do.”

She smiled and put her stuff down. “I made these myself. Be right back, I need to go around and hand them out to the other interns.”

“Okay.”

It was in the afternoon when Haechan knocked on his door. “Hey I have someone you need to see.”

“Who is it?”

“You’ll know when you see. He come out the way out here to see us and he wants to talk to you.”

Jaemin bit his lips for a moment, studying his friend. “Fine.” He turned to Jiheon. “I’ll be right back.”

When they walked into Haechan’s office room, Jaemin recognized the tall man that was standing there. “Mark?” Mark was one of Jeno’s best friends back in high school and he hasn't seen him in like forever after he moved away for college. 

“Hi Jaemin,” Mark greeted him, smiling. “How are you?”

“I'm good I guess. What are you doing here?”

“Haechan and I met a few a days ago when I came back to Seoul. He told me you worked here too so I came by to see you guys.”

After they graduated high school, Mark moved to the U.S for university. They haven't seen each other in years and it felt nice to just see him again. Mark was even more handsome and his hair was jet black. 

“You look great,” Jaemin said. “How was it in the U.S?”

“Challenging but it was a great. You can do a lot of things there.”

Jaemin just nodded at him. Mark stood and walked closer to him. “Do you mind if I talk to you privately?”

Jaemin glanced at Haechan who was staring at Mark the whole time. “Yeah. We can.”

They walked to his office and Mark was surprised when he saw Jiheon in there. They both recognized each other. “Jiheon?”

“Mark?” They both stared at each other like they both didn't know why they were both there. Jaemin frowned as he watched them, seeing how they both looked so confused. 

“What are you doing here Jiheon?”

“Me? What are you doing here?”

Jaemin stared at them. Something seemed off and Jaemin didn't know what. “Wait. What is happening?”

Jiheon just looked at him, but didn’t say anything. 

“Jaemin, why is she working here?”

“She’s my intern.”

“Jeno’s sister is your intern?”

“Uh yeah.” Jaemin just nodded, knowing how much the situation can get a bit messy now. It was weird having your ex-boyfriend’s sister as your intern right? Of course it was. “Jiheon, can you leave for a moment? Mark and I need to talk.”

Jiheon just nodded as she left the office, closing the door. Jaemin led Mark the couch and they both sat down. 

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“It’s about Jeno.”

Jaemin nodded, sighing a bit. How come everything was about Jeno lately? It drove him crazy, out of these years, things about him just started showing up, the wedding invitation, the flowers, Jiheon, and now Mark. It just didn’t seem to make sense to him. Why was Jeno’s name everywhere? “What about him? Are you going to ask if I’m going to attend his wedding?”

Shaking his head, Mark glanced at the flowers that was on the desks. Like he knew that it was from Jeno. It made Jaemin think that something was really up, with the way Mark seemed so taken aback by seeing Jiheon. “There’s something else you should know.”

“What?”

“Look, there is a reason why you need to come to the wedding. I just want to let you know that you were invited for a reason.”

Jaemin stared at him. “A reason?”

“Do you still love Jeno?”

Jaemin blinked at him, scrunching his nose for a second. Loving Jeno was so long ago. Why was Mark bringing up that question? “I lost feelings for him during the time he cheated on me. I don’t get why you’re asking me that.”

“But would you ever love him again? Would you ever take him back?”

“Mark, what is this even about? Why are you-”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. Just please think about coming to the wedding. We’re all waiting for you.”

“We? Who is we?” Jaemin asked. He didn’t know what the heck was going on. What is Mark trying to do? 

Mark got up and helped him stand up. “But I’m not forcing you to do anything Jaemin. Look, I have to go now. Maybe we can keep in contact in the future.”

Jaemin watched him leave his office, wondering if Mark was hinting at something else. There was a reason why Jeno invited him. Did Jeno want to finally say sorry to him face to face at the wedding? 

The days went by and Jaemin couldn’t help but be nervous about the upcoming wedding. He started to overthink when he really shouldn’t. He honestly didn’t want to go anymore, but Chenle said that if he went, he had to go too. It was stupid. Who in their right mind would want to attend an ex’s wedding? His feelings for Jeno have faded over the years and he shouldn’t feel nervous at all. But was he? Was it because he was seeing Jeno again for the first time in 7 years? Was he scared that he might fall in love again? There were so many questions inside his head that he had no answers to. 

He tried not to think about it or get too caught up in his own head.

Jaemin just got out of the shower just in time to hear a knock on his door. Chenle had plans with the other teachers on campus so he wasn’t home. Jaemin quickly ran to get the door and froze when he saw Hina in front of his door, holding a suit and tie in her arms.

“Hina?”

“Look, this is for you.” She handed him the suit and tie. 

He just stared at it, not touching it. “What is this for?”

“I’m sorry for running away the other day.”

Jaemin just looked at her wearily before glancing around outside the hallway. “Wait how do you know where I live? And I don’t get why you’re giving me this.”

Hina just walked into the apartment and looked around. “I bought it for you because I just know that you might back off from the wedding. I bought it for you so you could have a reason to go.”

“Hina, you really didn’t have to. I have money.”

She just smiled at him. “Think of it as a present for when I ran away the other day.”

Jaemin followed her movement before putting the suit and tie on top of the living room table and sitting down next to her. “There must be another reason why you’re here.”

“I’m not going to be at the wedding, but I expect you to go.”

“Why does everyone want me to go to the wedding? Are you working for Jeno?”

“You can think whatever you want Jaemin. I just came here to say that if you miss the wedding then there isn’t anything I can do. Just please do me a favor and attend.”

“What are you guys planning?” He asked, staring at her. “What is going on? Please tell me.”

“You’ll find out at the wedding,” she said, getting up. “You’ll know everything at the wedding.”

“Why are you guys like this? Why does it really matter if I go or not?”

“Because believe it or not, everything will change from that day onwards.”

The words echoed in his head for the longest time. Everything will change from that day onwards. Being a 28 year old, he really didn’t know what that means. 

Hina reached into her bag and brought out a small “You can either watch this or not, but just remember that I won't force you to do anything. I really hope that you will forgive me for what I did and hopefully understand my intentions.” She handed him the CD and smiled. “He took a lot of time to make this perfect, but there will always be obstacles. There will always be things in life that you regret doing and things that you did that pained you so much just thinking about it. Just know that nobody is perfect and people do make mistakes. We’re all human and we're stupid, reckless, and impulsive. As a person, we have to learn to understand ourselves and the regrets we made in life.”

Jaemin slowly took the CD in hands. What Hina said was true. She was wise and always honest, someone that is hard to find these days. 

“I'll take my leave and sorry for barging in like this.” 

He was alone in his empty apartment again, thinking about the possibilities of what could happen at the wedding. Hina didn’t give him a direct answer whatsoever, but the little speech she made made a hole in his heart. He sighed as he stared the suit and tie. Maybe going will probably mean something, like him finally being happy seeing Jeno getting married. For him to understand that Jeno were just the past and nothing more. He smiled for a bit. 

Maybe this is what was supposed to happen. 

He never played the CD because he knew that some things were meant left unsaid and he didn't need to see it to know that Jeno was apologizing to him. 

It was the day of the wedding and Jaemin woke up to a huge headache. Nowadays, he couldn't get the sleep that he needed because of the stress from work. The last week went by so fast that there wasn't interesting thing happened, except for that one time when he received the bouquet of flowers, there was a baby picture of him stuck on one of the vase. When he looked at it, he remembered that he gave Jeno the baby picture of him when when Jeno asked for it when they were younger. Now that he looked at it, he wondered why Jeno ever asked for it. The baby picture of him was beyond ridiculous, but Jeno loved it. Haechan asked if he had baby picture of Jeno and he didn’t really know if he still had it because he remembered throwing everything away after they broke up. He had spent that entire night looking through his old pictures to see if he had pictures of Jeno and he still had. He guessed that throwing away something so precious to him was kinda impossible. 

Jaemin got up from his bed and went outside to drink some pills. After he was done, he saw Chenle come out with his hair a mess and yawning as he made some coffee. 

“I can’t believe that we both took a day off to go to our exes’ wedding. This crazy.”

“I find it funny too,” Jaemin agreed. “But Chenle, what’s weirder was that the wedding is happening on the same day that Jeno and I broke up. Like why would they do that?”

Chenle just shrugged. “That’s kinda messed up though.”

“Yeah it is, like it's really weird,” Jaemin said, leaning on the counter, pouring hot water into his green tea. Green tea really helps him wake up since he’s been having migraines lately. He sometimes adds honey into it since it’s good for his body. “Do you think everything will be fine?”

Chenle just nodded. “Yeah. I’m actually excited to see them get married.”

Jaemin just smiled. “Yeah…”

Jaemin had decided to stop by his company to pick up some articles so he could revise tonight, but was surprised to see Jaehyun at the front desk, talking to Sunhye. Jaehyun is Doyoung’s husband who's probably a kid in a man’s body. He doesn’t see much Jaehyun around the building, but the guy is really fun. 

“Hey Jaehyun,” Jaemin greeted him at the front desk. Jaehyun saw him and smiled, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. They’re pretty much the same height now. 

“Hey man. I haven’t seen you in awhile. How are you?”

“Could’ve been better. What about you?”

“I’m actually here to drop of Doyoung’s lunch. He’s been a bit moody lately and I don’t know why.”

“He’s always like that.”

“So are you working today?”

Jaemin shook his as they entered the elevator. It was nice to talk to Jaehyun. He missed those times when Jaehyun would hang out here and bother Doyoung all day, but Jaehyun is now busy producing music for popular idols. Jaehyun used to part of band when he was younger, but now he just makes music for other people and he really liked doing that. 

“I’m just getting some things from my office. I actually have a wedding to go to today.”

“Who’s wedding?”

“An old ex of my mine.”

Jaehyun just nodded. “Oh Jeno?” Jaehyun knew about Jeno, who was his only boyfriend out of all his 28 years. Pretty pathetic but then he really didn’t want to date guys would break his heart the same way Jeno did years ago. Jaemin just nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re happy for him right?” 

Jaemin looked at him. “I just have to be. Honestly, it was so long ago so you know, it wasn’t meant to be. Like how do you know that Doyoung was the one?”

“I didn’t. I don’t think anyone knows who’s the one. They just have to go through the process to see if they really are the one, going on dates, understanding each other, and seeing if you guys are compatible. Some may know and some might not. It’s really all about learning Jaemin. When I first met Doyoung back in college, we hated each other. I was always the bad college kid, partying and doing whatever I wanted. Doyoung was the studious and serious type of guy and he was hard to approach and talk to. I found him uptight and one day, during a math class we had together, I told him he was cute and he wanted to rip my head off. Relationships take time and falling in love does too. You just find out what you really want a relationship that makes it last.”

Jaemin smiled for a moment. “Yeah you’re right.”

Jaehyun patted his back as they walked into his office. “Sometimes you just gotta learn the hard way about love. It’s never easy.” He then looked around to see all the flowers. “Whoa.”

“I know.”

“Who are these from?”

Jaemin bit hips lips. “I’m not exactly sure, but I have a feeling of who it is, but let's just say that it’s anonymous.”

“Hmmm, I think I know who.” And then Jaehyun turned around to look at him. “I hope that you will have fun at the wedding.”

Jaemin suddenly smiled at him. 

Jaemin got done quicker than he expected. He just gelled his hair back and put on his suit. He wasn’t the best person when it came looking his best at all. Haechan had came over to get ready with them. Chenle and Haechan bicker a lot and Jaemin gets annoyed everytime they do that. Those two aren’t the best of friends, but they along well. He used to think that they had something for each other but it was a total misunderstanding. 

“Are you ready?” Haechan asked, walking into his room to find that Jaemin was looking at an old picture of him and Jeno. Haechan sighed as he watched him. Jaemin slowly looked up him. “I’ve been meaning to rip this,” he said. 

Haechan stopped his hands. “Don’t. You don’t need to because I think that it’s time for you and Jeno to make up. Be friends again because the past is just the past. It’s better to just do that right?”

Jaemin just nodded. “You’re right.” But deep inside, Jaemin was nervous to see Jeno again and make up. Haechan was right. He needed to do this. 

They all got done and Haechan drove both of them to the wedding. Jaemin didn’t know that the wedding was going to be at a beautiful garden, the exact same place he told Jeno that he wanted to get married at. He felt kinda taken aback. Why is Jeno marrying Renjun at the place he always wanted to get married at? What kind of stunt was Jeno pulling? They got out of the car and Jaemin looked around. They had to walk a bit to the place, but Jaemin wanted to look around. 

“I’ll go ahead. I actually have to meet up with someone,” Haechan said. 

“Who are you meeting up with?” Chenle asked, suspicious. “Is it Mark?” 

Jaemin and Haechan looked at each other when Chenle said it. Jaemin tilted his head questioningly as Haechan blinked. Haechan and Mark? When the heck did that ever happen?

“Don’t you lie. I saw both of them eating dinner together when I was out with one of my teacher friends.”

Jaemin stared at Haechan. “Oh you have to tell me what happened. Weren’t you in love with that guy like in high school or something?”

Haechan rolled his eyes. “It was a tiny crush excuse you. He and I are getting along well. I’ll meet up with you guys later.”

Chenle and Jaemin nodded at him as he left. 

“This place is so beautiful,” Chenle muttered as they walked slowly. 

“You want to know what’s more funny about this situation? The wedding’s on the day of our anniversary and this was the place that I’ve always wanted to get married at. Something feels really off about all of this.”

Chenle just nodded. “It’s expensive isn't it?”

Jaemin shrugged. “I don’t know, but it has to be.” He stopped when they walked closer. It was so damn crowded and Jaemin looked around to see so many seats occupied and more people coming in. As they walked closer, people seemed to recognize him. 

“Jaemin?”

Jaemin turned to look at the person who called out his name. “Hansol?”

“Oh my god. It’s so nice to see you again!” Hansol gave him a tight hug. Hansol was one of Jeno’s cousin that he used to be close with. “Can’t believe you’re here at his wedding.”

Jaemin just smiled. “Me neither. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. Still doing the same thing I’ve always done. Yuta and I had to fly from Japan to attend the wedding.”

Jaemin just smiled at that. “Oh yeah. You and Yuta. Are you guys married?”

“We got married in Japan a few years ago.”

“Oh that’s good.” They walked to where the tables and chairs are at. “It’s good to hear that you and him are still happy. Where is he by the way?” 

“He’s around.” 

Jaemin just nodded as they all sat down. They talked some more until Yuta arrived and greeted both him and Chenle. Jisung also arrived sometime later and they all engaged into a small conversation. Haechan found him a few moments later and sat next to them. Jaemin noticed something different with Haechan and stared at him. 

“What happened to you?” 

“Nothing. Oh look Jeno is coming over.”

They looked over at Jeno and they all stood up to greet him. Jaemin smiled at him once he got closer was surprised to see Jeno looking right at him. 

“You look good today,” Hansol said, giving his cousin a pat on the back. 

“Thanks.” Jeno turned to look at Jaemin. “I see that you come today.”

Jaemin just smiled. “I mean it’s your big day. Congrats by the way.”

The others greeted him and Jeno gave them all kind smiles. Jaemin can feel that something was a bit off when he Jeno asked if he can talk to him privately. 

“Oh sure.”

They both walked out behind the garden where no one can see them. Jeno turned to him and suddenly pulled him closer, like it was something that seemed okay. Jaemin raised a brow at him and Jeno just smiled. 

“It’s nice seeing you again, after 7 years. You look great.”

“Thanks. You too.” Jaemin didn’t know what else to say. They haven't seen each other in a long time and here they are sneaking out to talk to each other and telling each other that they both look great. In Jaemin’s head, it was kinda funny. 

They were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. 

“Jaemin, thanks a lot for coming tonight. You don’t know how much it means to me to be able to see you again. I had a feeling you wouldn’t come and seeing you here in front of me feels unreal.”

“Jeno, what is up? Do you you need to tell me something?”

“Did you watch the video that Hina gave you?”

Jaemin paused for a moment. “No. I didn’t think I needed to. Why?”

Jeno sighed, looking away for a moment. “I cheated on you, I hurt you, and I broke your heart. I can’t express to you how sorry I am for everything, choosing Renjun over you when you were the only one I have ever loved.”

“Jeno-”

“No look at me when I say this. Jaemin, look at me.” Jaemin stared right into his eyes. “I really regret falling in love with someone else that wasn’t you.” 

Jaemin shook his head, getting another headache from all of this. He doesn’t know what is happening. “Jeno, can you stop? Look, you’re getting married. Maybe we should go back. Everyone is waiting for you.”

They walked back and Jaemin was surprised to see everyone looking at them. Jaemin suddenly paused in his steps, confused when he saw his own parents and Jeno’s parents together. And the music started playing. Jeno looked at him, going on his knees. What the fuck was happening? This really couldn’t be happening at all. 

“Jaemin, we grew up as neighbors to best friends to lovers and we’ve got so much history together. It was always Jeno and Jaemin, it always just the two of us until it wasn’t. You were my first love and my last. It’s always been you Jaemin. I have hurt you a lot in the past, but I want to make it up to-”

“No.”

“Huh?”

Jaemin shook his head as he looked away from him. He looked at his parents and everyone else. Jeno planned it well, but it just wasn’t right. Why would he do this? Why did he have to fool him? 

“Jeno, drop the act. What the fuck is this? Like what the hell are you even doing?” 

“Jaemin-”

“Oh wait, maybe you’re just fooling with me because all those stupid flowers and letters were supposed to indicate that you still have feelings for me? I don’t get it. We broke up 7 years ago and we’re supposed to move on-”

Jeno suddenly pulled him into a kiss and Jaemin was shocked. When Jeno leaned back, he smiled for a second before looking down. “This whole thing is planned as a proposal for you.”

Jaemin blinked and then pulled away from him, still confused as fuck but also mad. “This probably the worst thing you ever did Jeno.” Jaemin walked away from everyone and everything. It just didn’t make sense to him. He had to leave. 

Jaemin groaned as Chenle woke him up, turning to the side. He really didn't want to get up right now. “What do you want?”

“Come on. Breakfast is served.”

“I really do not feel like eating or doing anything.”

“Would it make you feel better if I bring it in for you?”

“No.”

Chenle just groaned. “You've been in bed for the past two days. Just come eat breakfast with me before I have to leave for work.”

Jaemin sighed. “Fine.” Ever since the fake wedding ended, Jaemin had no motivation to even get out of the house or leave the apartment. It was the fact that Jeno had planned it with everyone made him feel sick to the stomach. Even Haechan knew about it and he didn't know what to even think about it. 

They both sat down on the table and Chenle had made them waffles. A simple yet satisfying breakfast. After a while, there was a knock on the door. 

“I’ll get it.” Chenle got up and went to open the door. After a long moment of chatters, Jeno walked in and Jaemin frowned. 

“Good morning to you,” Jeno said as he ruffled his hair. Chenle just raised his eyes before leaving the kitchen to get his stuff, not wanting to witness what was going to happen. 

“Jeno what the fuck are you doing here?”

Jeno shrugged. “Can't I just come see you? I haven't seen you in two days.”

“We managed for 7 years and 2 days really wouldn't make a difference would it?”

Jeno just shrugged. “Well from now on, let's see each other everyday. I really want you back in my life.”

Jaemin sighed as he got up to put his plates away. “So whatever happened to Renjun?”

“He and I are still friends. We’ve just understood each other and had feelings for different people.”

“You are guys aren't in love?”

Jeno shook his head. “If you want to know the full story, let’s go on a date and i’ll tell you everything. I know there are some questions that I need to answer.”

“Oh you have no idea.”

“So is that a yes or no?”

Jaemin stared at him. “I’m sorry but I don't know what you're asking.” Jaemin continued to wash the dishes until he noticed how close Jeno was to him. 

“Do you still hate me?”

Jaemin shook his head. “I don't hate you. It's been 7 years since the break up and you know, I all had to get over it. Time heals pain.”

Jeno sadly smiled at him. “I know I've been a jerk and you have no idea how regretful I am for just every-”

“Look, it's fine. We were just kids. We all make mistakes and regret things.”

Jeno bit his lips as he looked at Jaemin. They weren't okay and it might take some time for them to be alright but Jeno wanted to keep trying. 

“Do you have work today? I’ll drive you there.”

Jaemin shook his head. “I’ll drive myself. You don't have to.”

“I just want to spend more time with you. I just really miss you.”

Jaemin bit his lips. The thing was he didn't want Jeno to take him to work. At all. After seeing him again, the feeling hadn't really settled in him nicely. Jeno seemed the same as before but knowing that they hold so many memories together, it kinda hurt him. He can still remember those times when he and Jeno fought, when they yelled at each other. Those memories will forever stay in his head and he didn't want to keep thinking about it. Seeing Jeno and knowing that Jeno still holds feelings for him is something new, yet scary at the same time. He didn't want to fall in love with Jeno again because he didn't know if Jeno will always think of him and not break his heart again. It was hard. 

Jeno ended up driving him to work after Chenle left. Jeno’s car was nice and Jaemin just wondered what exactly he did for a living, but he knew that he was going to get answers soon. When they got there, Jaemin bit his lips as he got out and noticed Jeno did the same too. 

“Thanks for taking me to work.”

Jeno just nodded. “You don't mind if I come instead right?”

Jaemin remembered that there were still flowers everywhere in his office and it probably stunk up his office for the last two days. “Oh crap. The flowers.” He quickly ran away and into the building. Jeno was behind him and followed him up to his office. When he opened it up, the smell was everywhere and they both covered up their nose. Jaemin walked over to the dead flowers and frowned. He needed to throw them away so he grabbed the vase and walked out to the lobby to throw them away. When he came back, Jeno was picking at the flowers. 

“You really kept them huh?”

Jaemin nodded. “Yeah. I mean why not? They're pretty and I like them.”

“I always knew you liked these combinations. I'm happy you kept them.”

They were quiet for a moment until Jeno took his hands and kissed them. “It's really nice of you to keep them when you didn't know who sent them.”

Jaemin sucked on his lips. “No one has ever given me flowers except you.”

Jeno stared at him for a long time, taking his face into his palms. “I'm glad that I'm the only one.” He pressed a light kiss against his lips again and again. Jeno looked right into eyes before moving into a deep kiss, asking if it was okay. Jaemin closed his eyes and he kissed back. It felt very familiar, but different at the same time. But then he couldn't help but push him away afterwards. 

“Look, you should go.”

Jeno just nodded. “Oh okay. I’ll pick you up later.”

Jaemin shook his head. “Actually please don't. I’ll be working very late.”

“But still, I get to see you and it's all that matters to me.”

“Jeno, I have work to do.”

“Okay. Bye Jaemin.”

When he left, Jaemin took a deep breath. He needed to take a rain check. 

Jaemin hadn't even given Jeno his number yet, but the man always knew where he was at all times. It was freaky. It has been over a month since the fake wedding occurrence and Jeno is always around him. Jeno still kisses him and tells him he loves him and all that. It was sweet but Jaemin felt kinda burdened. He would never hug Jeno or take his hands. It was always Jeno who did it. It wasn't until last week when Jaemin saw Renjun again. The guy was really good looking and he and Chenle seemed to be alright. It warmed his heart seeing everyone okay again. Letting the past fade away and the feelings to heal.

Jeno had finally asked him on a date and Jaemin had a really hard time saying no. Jeno kept trying to make everything seem okay again but he didn’t know if he could trust Jeno again. Jeno said that this was the dinner where he wanted to answer the questions that was on his mind. Jaemin agreed and Jeno said that he would pick a place. 

When it was the night of the date, Jeno came over to pick him up. Jeno had a big smile on his face as he saw him. 

“It’s been forever since we went on a date together. It feels unreal.”

“What is unreal is you asking me on a date 7 years after our break up. Thought it would never happen again but…” 

“Life is unpredictable you know.” 

“But not as unpredictable as this…” 

When they arrived at the restaurant, Jaemin recognized it being the restaurant that they had broken up in. Jeno can see his unsure smile, but led him into the restaurant anyways. Jisung was working that night so he took their order. They sat just staring at their water for some time until Jeno spoke up. 

“When I broke up with you on our anniversary, I felt a little guilty. It wasn’t a very nice thing to do, but at the moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. Breaking up with you was hard because we’ve just been through so much together. You were my best friend and my 1st in command whenever I needed you to be. You were there when I got drunk, when I crashed a car and ended up in the hospital in high school, when I was at my worst, and you were there when you knew I cheating on you. Someone like you is hard to find.” 

Jaemin just kept silent as Jeno continued to talk, his voice smooth, yet very sorrowful. “Renjun and I loved each other a lot. He was very sweet to me and he seemed to understand me when you couldn’t. He was very different from you and it was nice being with someone like him who had no worries, always liked adventure, skipping classes just for fun, and going to bars just to get laid. I fell in love with him because he wasn’t you. You always wanted to study, getting good grades, in your world and didn’t pay attention to other people. You pretended to be okay when you weren’t, you lie and you try to make everything look easy, when deep inside, you could never be honest with me when you wanted to be. We had our stupid fights, we had arguments and it just lead to us losing feelings for each other.”

The food came and they both thanked Jisung who smiled at them before leaving.

Jeno looked at him for a long time, there's something in his eyes that Jaemin couldn’t read. Jaemin had a hard time reading Jeno these days. “I’m sorry for not understanding you.”

Jaemin shook his head. “Jeno, the thing is, I could never stop you from doing what you want. I’m not someone that will ever tell you not to fall in love with someone else. You’re your own person and as much as things did hurt, I think we came to an understanding on what we both wanted when we broke up.”

Jeno reached out to take his hand that was on the table, gently lacing them together. “Sometimes it hurts when I look at you and those hideous memories of our fights come up. I don’t ever want that to happen again.”

Jaemin blinked for a moment, taking his hands away. “There are a lot of questions in my head, but I think that you don't need to answer them. But would you be willing to answer this one?”

Jeno nodded. 

“Would you break my heart again?” 

Jeno shook his head. “Never.”

Jaemin was still unsure, but sometimes you just have to let the past go and being new again. Jeno seemed sincere to him, but how will he know that Jeno won’t leave him again? How will he know that Jeno would hurt him again? When they were done eating, Jeno took his hands and led him to the back of the restaurant. They both saw Irene and she smiled brightly at them, turning around to pick up two small rings. Jaemin knew that they were the promise rings from 7 years ago. 

Jeno took it from her and smiled at Jaemin. “As a new beginning for us, let’s promise each other one thing.” Jeno took his hands and slipped on the ring and he was surprised to see that it wasn’t a bad fit. A bit tight but not so bad. 

“Let’s promise to be there for each other. Like best friends, like soulmates and like lovers again.”

They both smiled at that. It just seemed like the perfect promise. 

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was written two years ago and i want to thank everyone for reading thank you so much <3


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